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During
Memorial Day
weekend of 2009, I was asked to speak before the Unitarian Universalist
Church congregation in Caribou, Maine. The following is an edited
version of that talk.
In 1865, Henry C. Welles, a druggist in the village of Waterloo, New York, mentioned at a social gathering that honor should be shown to the patriotic dead of the Civil War by decorating their graves. In the Spring of 1866, he again mentioned this subject to General B. Murray, Seneca County Clerk. General Murray embraced the idea and a committee, of course, was formulated to plan a day devoted to honoring the dead soldiers.
Townspeople adopted the idea wholeheartedly. Wreaths, crosses and bouquets were made for each veteran’s grave. The village was decorated with flags at half-mast and draped with evergreen wreaths and mourning black streamers. On May 5, 1866, civic societies joined the procession to the three existing cemeteries and were led by veterans marching. At each cemetery, there were impressive and lengthy services, including speeches by General Murray and a local clergyman. The ceremonies were repeated on May 5, 1867.
The first official recognition of Memorial Day was issued by General John A. Logan, first commander of the Grand Army of the Republic. This was General Order No. 11, establishing “Decoration Day” as it was known then. The date of the order was May 5, 1868, exactly 2 years after Waterloo’s first observance. That year, Waterloo joined other communities in the nation by having their ceremony on May 30. Since then, America has set aside a day of remembrance for the war dead and has evolved into a day, the last Monday in May, honoring all of those who paid the ultimate sacrifice while serving in the military. I personally salute and give thanks to them all, along with their families and loved ones, for they all made extreme sacrifices. Sacrifices that enable me, not fearing persecution , to display and express my beliefs.
Of course, without war, there wouldn’t be a need for Memorial Day as such, really. To help us understand this creature called war that takes its tolls on so many lives, we need to try and understand its antithesis, the elusive peace. Peace is something that everyone seems to want, but no one knows how to achieve successfully. The key to attaining worldwide peace is this simple formula:
Peace = Understanding + Respect.
Peace is defined as the absence of war or other hostilities. Understanding, in this situation, is defined as knowing and being tolerant of a differing point of view. And finally, respect is defined as a willingness to show consideration and appreciation for the beliefs of others.
In order to achieve a world without war and hostility, you need understanding and respect. Without understanding and respect, we have nothing but a world full of intolerant individuals, each concerned only with their own beliefs and ideals. We currently live in a world where selfish people believe that their way is right, and different ways of thinking that differ even slightly from their beliefs is wrong!
The first thing we need in order to successfully complete the peace formula is understanding. What can we do in order to bring understanding into the equation? It's simple really. What we need to do is promote more open mindedness when it comes to studying other belief systems and values. I've encountered Christians that believe that anyone that's not a Christian, for example
Pagan, Muslims, Hindus, Buddhists, etc., is going straight to hell after they die. I've also encountered Muslims that believe that Christians and Jews are their mortal enemies and therefore must not be thought of as "friends." And yes, I know Pagans who disdain all Christians.
This brings to mind a story about our friends the porcupines. The porcupines all lived in the evergreen forest, contentedly munching away day after day at the bark of various trees. It was pleasant in the evergreen forest, and none of the porcupines had any complaints. They all went their own way filling their soft bellies with whatever they could find to gnaw on......Then one day they scented winter on the air. Gone were the musty smells of autumn. Instead, a sharp, barren wind began to rustle the needles of the trees. Temperatures dropped, snow began to fall, and the porcupines began to shiver. Instinctively they began to search for one another. Their beady eyes looked to and fro as they waddled around the forest floor. Their blunt noses sniffed the stinging air. Slowly they gathered to one another, desperate for warmth. They all located a long, low cave and began to crowd in. But even though they were together, they still felt the discomfort of the winter air. All a-quiver they snuggled closer to one another, craving the comfort that such intimate warmth would bring. But even as they moved toward each other they began to utter little porcupine cries of pain. Dismayed, they all retreated to the perimeter of the cave, unable to understand what had happened. But it was still cold in the cave,
and before long they were sidling warily back together again. No sooner had they gotten close enough to enjoy the warmth than they began to cry out in pain and retreat from one another again.
Time after time they repeated this process tossed to and fro by the pain of being alone and cold as well as the offensive quills that pricked and stabbed them when they got too close. After much experience they arrived at a solution. All of them decided to draw as near as they could under the circumstances and yet keep a safe distance to avoid getting hurt. A seemingly easy solution.
So, why do we insist on holding on to our outdated beliefs? If we would only take a little time to learn about and understand each other's differing views, look for and stress the commonality and get rid of some of these outdated belief systems, we would be much better off and the first part of the peace equation would be complete!
The second part of the peace equation is respect. We can tolerate other people's viewpoints, but without respecting their views and showing consideration for them when making decisions, the concept of understanding becomes moot. If we don't show respect for other people's beliefs and take them into consideration when making a decision, you can pretty much rest assured that not all parties involved are going to be happy with the final decision. The concepts of understanding and respect relate to many events that take place in our everyday lives.
A great example was told by author and former Catholic priest James Carroll. He tells a story of family conflict in his memoir, “An American Requiem: God, My Father, and the War that Came Between Us“. In that memoir, there is story about how American bedrock freedoms can bridge those painful differences about patriotism. James Carroll’s father was Lieutenant General Joseph F. Carroll, director of the Defense Intelligence Agency through much of the Vietnam War, a lawyer, a former FBI man who as head of the DIA helped choose the bombing targets in Vietnam. He was a man who had dedicated his life to the military. James was one of four sons, the one who became a Catholic priest to fulfill the dream his father had had for himself but abandoned. But, James’ vocation as a priest brought him into direct conflict with his father, as he aligned himself with radical Catholic war resistors. His brother Brian would become an FBI agent assigned to track down draft dodgers, one of whom was another brother, Dennis. The family was deeply divided. The story of how freedom bridged their divisions involved not James but his brother Dennis. After a couple years in exile, a fugitive from the draft, estranged from their parents, Dennis decides to return to the U.S. and face the music of the Selective Service Board. He figures, and James concurs, that the climate had changed so that he might win conscientious objector status even though his reasons were moral not religious. He believed U.S. military involvement in Vietnam was wrong, whether God existed or not. Against James’ objections, the estranged Dennis asks his father, the three star general and director of the Defense Intelligence Agency, to be his lawyer before the Selective Service Board. Amazingly, Joseph Carroll agrees. He studies the law carefully and helps Dennis prepare a statement, which the father described as “a forthright definition of the war’s immorality and of a citizen’s obligation to oppose it.”
For the hearing, Joseph Carroll wears full dress uniform, his three stars matching the three stars of the Selective Service director. Dennis reads the statement and then is asked to leave the room, whereupon the director asks his father for his views. He responds, and it is his statement that I find to be such a testament to the bridging capacity of the principle of freedom and acceptance of diversity, not to mention a testimony to Joseph Carroll’s incredible authenticity. He said, and I quote, "the right to conscientious objection is basic to the American idea. The board’s task is only to determine if the application for exemption from military service was authentically based on conscience. I am here today not because I agree with what my son has just said—obviously, Wearing this uniform, I don’t—but because I know with absolute certitude that his position is sincerely held, prudently arrived at, and an act, if I might add, of heroic integrity". End quote.
That was respect.
When we think of war we think of gunfire, bombs, tanks all kinds of artillery. But perhaps the most lethal weapons in some ways are words. Words can cut like a knife, kill a spirit and do all kinds of destruction. One of my core beliefs is that the Goddess/God is within all of us, not looking down upon us in judgment, but with us, living day-to-day, minute-by-minute. Perhaps if we tried to remember that concept, we would gauge our thoughts and actions a bit more carefully. Ask yourself: Is what I’m doing or saying fit for a Deity to be doing or saying? Can you picture your God/Goddess saying or doing what action you are contemplating?
I also believe in the concept that if ye harm none, do as ye will. Harm means more than physical injury. There are emotions, relationships, reputations, for example, all in addition to the physical aspect. Of course, that does not exclude my right to protect myself and my fellow man, loved ones, family, friends, for example. And that leads to one other of my core beliefs, and that is that we are all one. We are all here as the result of one Deity, call him/her what you may.
Deity lives within us all. I always use the visualization of auras to explain this. Auras, to over-simplify, are energies that an object, humans, for example, give off, emit. We all have them. Most of us cannot see them. A few have developed their ability to do so, though, and another way to see them is by using a special camera. These auras, appearing in various colors depending on the energy strength and nature, can emit from us a couple of inches to a couple of feet. Again, everyone has them. You have them. The person sitting next to you does as well. What happens to these auras, these energies, when you encounter somebody within that space? Do you bounce off each other like negative-positive magnets might? No, they overlap, they become one. One by one, they overlap, uniting us all.
Is what you are about to say or do the same action you would take if you were encountering your Deity, for Deity is in all of us. I have long held the belief that people of all spiritual paths, though diverse in personal convictions; could live and work together for the betterment of all life on this our sacred Earth. As we look around our world today it has become plagued with ideologies of hate, violence, and war; all played out to the soundtrack of religious extremist rhetoric. Unspeakable acts of violence have been committed against all of humanity, with the perpetrators claiming all was done in the name of their deity. We are a world of diversity; diverse in ethnicity, culture, lifestyles, ideology, spirituality, and in almost any manner one could think of. Many fear these differences, seeing them as a direct assault on their personal beliefs. That fear gone unchecked can lead to mistrust and hate, and ultimately to violence. It is time to break that cycle by uniting in respect and in celebration of our diversity. It is our diversity that brings beauty and life to a world that would otherwise be stagnant and void of inspiration. For here in America, “trusting in God” is not what unites us Americans. Rather, we are, or should be, united by our steadfast commitment to each person’s right to trust or not, to believe or not, in God and to mean different things when we use that word.
One of the clearest principles on which Americans do stand united is our freedom to trust in God or not, as we see fit - we stand united in, among other important principles - our religious freedom - not in our trust in God. And this belief cannot be limited to our words. We must put it into practice, such as what Gen. Carroll did, and it doesn’t stop with us. Our youth needs this to be instilled into them and we must set the example. It is time we unite, with open minds and hearts; in respect and love, and in the common belief of the sanctity of life. We do not have to agree on all matters of life and spirituality to love and respect one another. Yet we must be willing to listen to one another, and be willing to reach across what barriers may exist. Simply because we differ in spiritual paths does not mean that one must be right while the other one is wrong. Personal truths are sacred and whereas my personal truth may not be right for you it does not make my path any less true or valid. It is simply my path and is sacred to me as your path is to you.
So let us not break our unity upon the shoals of our diversity. Let us not be afraid to embrace one another as friends or family simply because of differences in personal truths. Let us instead celebrate our diversity and uplift one another. Let us unite and use our collective good-will and love to bring the light of compassion into an overcast and shadowy time in the history of our world. Diverse our paths may be, but united in love shall we live. If we just take a closer look at what's going on and try to understand and respect differing views when it comes to the decisions we make every day, the world will definitely be a much better place and the equation of peace,
Peace = Understanding + Respect
will be complete, or at least given a chance to succeed.
So Mote it Be!
What say you?
